Co-Parenting Guide to Success

Combative to Collaborative: The Co-parenting Code

by Teresa Harlow ( / Amazon Link)

Co-parenting doesn’t have to be hard or mean sacrificing either your family or your own happiness. Yet for so many, that’s exactly how it turns out. Parents continue to battle well after the ink is dry on their divorce papers. And the children? They end up caught in the middle of all the ugliness for the rest of their lives.

Many parents find themselves conceding to their new, frustrating normal… a life filled with uncomfortable encounters with the ex and lost time and experiences with their offspring.  So how do you avoid this fate?

We can raise happy kids

My name is Teresa Harlow. As the author of the bestselling book, Combative to Collaborative: The Co-parenting Code, I know first-hand that parents can save their families even after divorce. We can raise happy kids. And how do I know this? My son’s father and I split over twenty years ago and now that our son is 28, he can attest to the fact that he had a happy childhood. So, what’s the trick?

Our formula for success is a lot simpler than you might think. My approach to collaborating effectively with my co-parent was born out of two basic rules of engagement that I learned as a child from my mother.  And when you read them, they’ll probably sound familiar to you too. The first is, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.” And second, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”

That’s it? You’re supposed to base the rest of your relationship with your ex on just these two rules? Yes! In fact, this approach works not only with a co-parent but with every relationship in your life whether it is a family member, co-worker, or even that technical support rep you need to call about a problem.

Three Stages of Co-Parenting

Of course, Combative to Collaborative: The Co-parenting Code is more than a couple sentences long. So, what are the other 215 pages about? Well, the truth is that just because we know the rules of the game doesn’t mean we abide by them or know how to successfully apply them in our lives. I methodically lay these things out for you in my three stages of co-parenting:

  • Uncoupling
  • Life Goes On
  • Correcting Course

Whether parents are newly separated, well into their journey, or have been at it for years, this book will guide the way. For each co-parenting topic covered, you’ll…

  • Explore what’s at stake for the child, parents, and others involved.
  • Identify the combative behaviors that derail parenting efforts and make life miserable for everyone.
  • Read real-life experiences of other co-parents and how they handled their situations both successfully and not as well.
  • Learn the DOs and DON’Ts of collaborative behaviors.
  • Answer questions to adopt an empathetic mindset, apply the Golden Rule to your situation, and achieve the positive outcome you desire. This is The Co-parenting Code!

Lessons Learned

As a result of reading Combative to Collaborative, you will discover how to:

  • Diffuse a co-parent’s snarky behavior and avoid triggering their hostility
  • Recognize your own combative behaviors and stop exhibiting them
  • Plan for co-parenting collaboration and success
  • Correct course when a relationship goes astray – even after many years of conflict!

Combative to Collaborative: The Co-parenting Code provides a blueprint for parents living separately to not only improve life for their children, but also for themselves and everyone that surrounds them. You can save your family. You can be happy! A painful decision does not have to mean a pain-filled life.

About the Author, Teresa Harlow

Teresa Harlow has been co-parenting for two decades and has written two books on the topic. Her latest book, Combative to Collaborative: The Co-parenting Code is endorsed by bestselling authors Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul) and Gary Chapman (The 5 Love Languages). Teresa is also a speaker, workshop facilitator, and co-parenting coach. Join her Facebook Group, T’s Co-parenting and Blended Family Corner to get or offer help to others with co-parenting and blended family relationships. Learn more at

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